Yes, Gossip is my guilty pleasure, why?
While you can read more about why people gossip on the internet, this article from psychologytoday.com can even be a good start.
For me, gossip is a source of excitement that I constantly seek due to my ADHD (as I was told).
This led to situations that give me a great deal of pain when I recall them, because of how unfair and unreasonable I would be sometimes.
Checks and balances
Gossip can be harmless -sometimes beneficial-. It can be a way to maintain order or figure out a solution to an undesirable situation.
But when gossip is rewarding by itself, there is a problem.
The motive to check facts or to be reasonable might not be as strong as the excitement.
Tables turn you know
I without a doubt gave every reason to be gossiped about as well.
What is an ADHD person like? loud, talks a lot, forgets, lacks emotional regulation, or any combination of these.
With all of that, I could guess people gossip about me.
And it did hurt, a lot.
Empathy
It took me a while, but I figured that I was also causing others pain.
Those who were struggling with fitting in.
Now when I remember…
When I imagine…
How hard it was for those I either talked about or entertained the topic that included talking about them…
It’s all about open-mindedness
See, when people gossip about me.
What do I wish would happen?
I wish I could explain myself, why I did whatever they didn’t like, and how bad I felt about doing it when I realized it.
I don’t wish to have it as an excuse but I wish I got their empathy and I wish I was given the benefit of the doubt.
In turn, when I gossip about others, I need to realize that it is maybe not easy for them.
It’s probably nice to give them the benefit of the doubt, to be curious, not judgemental.
In conclusion
I’m sorry for all my peers.
My social entertainment should have never been paid for by your pain.
And to all my current and future peers, let’s help each other maintain the checks and balances we need to make sure destructive gossip doesn’t take place.