Why I will never be a manager

Before writing this article I googled the etymology of the word manager and my first internet result was as follows

The probable origin of the word manager comes from the Latin manus, meaning “hand.” A good manager provides the necessary “hand,” guiding others.


Immediately I remembered this epic misunderstanding when Steve from American Dad misunderstood “lavate las manos” (Spanish for “wash your hands”) to be a spell.

So, I’m a selfish brick and won’t provide the necessary hand, therefore; I choose not to be a manager. The End

Just kidding.

Management is not the name of a job but a political occupation.

Managers don’t do work but tell people to work.

They tell them what to work on, and then go on to judge how well they work.

Since they manage other managers, higher-level managers don’t know much about workers.

Everything to them is metrics and graphs.

Managers are also often paid more than their employees.

So if they don’t work, and when they do they do useless work. How come they get paid more?

You guessed it, it’s just a social status.

A manager to employees is what the middle class is to the worker class.

The shareholders buy them to police the product making under-paid exploited individuals they manage.

So next time you [a manager] feel overwhelmed by the 200 items on your to-do list, ask yourself, which of these items is actual work?

If you want to play pretend games and say that filing surveys, attending meetings, and reviewing metric changes is actual work be my guest.

But for me, I suck at pretending, and this is why I will never be a manager.

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